Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Love is... defining terms

I had someone talk about the movie "The Imposter" and mention how the character of Tara just "loved too much" her wayward husband Johnny C. You see, Johnny C uses her like a doormat and she just keeps taking it because she "loves him too much."

Well, that's just evil. First, let's define "Love." How about, "seeking the others highest good and purpose?" So if she enables him, how is she loving him? Is it even possible to "love too much?" No. The biggest stink here is trying to cover up this selfishness with a noblility. "Oh, I'm enabling him because it's just too hard to do the right thing, but I'll call it love because it makes me feel better about myself." Yeah, that's refuse.

You can have true love as defined above. And you can have "Chicken Love." That's the kind of love where you get a great piece of chicken in front of you, grilled to perfection and you say "I love chicken." What are you really saying? "I love the way chicken makes me feel."

So the Imposter is Tara in this instance at the beginning of our story. She stays in a dysfunctional relationship because there's a payoff for her. Please don't confuse it with "loving too much." She's selfish and living for her own flesh, her own Ego. Not until she does the hard things to give Johnny C a chance to choose his highest good and purpose, does she finally love him.

You see, can a Narcissist even truly love? No, of course not.

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