Monday, June 14, 2010

A New Grateful Dead

A few days ago, I had a moment of narcissism.  It was something I used to pass off as "not so bad" but it could have had drastic effect on the safety of my family (fortunately, it didn't).  It was something that cannot be defended or minimized.  And there are consequences for my sin.

I have, in the past, worked hard to minimize the effects of the consequences.  But when I start to feel down about that, I think about how grateful I am for the consequences as they will help me not repeat the same mistake-- grateful that I can identify something that needs to die. A new Grateful Dead.

It's not an easy thought, but it makes the first chapter of James come across with a little different perspective.  You know the one... "Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance."

So I consider it all joy and thankful that a new compartment has been opened up so that I can work on killing some flesh... some Ego.  When I realized that I had made a poor choice (really a series of poor choices), the most important question is "why did I do it?" 

To peel away the layers of the onion and find some root to work with is not fun, but it's good.

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