Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mirror Man

There's a scene in the Imposter where Johnny C studies himself in the mirror and crazy Popeye slaps yet another nickname on him... "Mirror Man."

In James, the first chapter, he writes that a double minded man is one who looks at the mirror and immediately forgets what he looked like.

But just looking at the mirror is a big step. Can I truly see myself as others see me? Where are the mirrors? Are better-- who are the mirrors? In my life, the best, most accurate mirror is my wife. Who better can point out what I look like? And yes, I have fought, defended, denied. But in the end, most of the time, she's right. Dead on.

I do not want to see myself in this or any other mirror and fix it for a week. Or two weeks. That's pretty much forgetting who I look like. I'd like to remember. To remember that sick, nauseating, pit in my stomach, feeling I got when I saw my flesh, my Ego in action. To remember is to remember to kill it.

To walk away forgetting what I looked like is destiny to do it again.

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