Cheesy Christian Movies-- A Different Look

Yes, Christian movies have a reputation for being cheesy.  On another blog, we've had an interesting debate that started with the premise that maybe they're cheesy because they lack budget.  (For the definition of "cheesy", read this.)

Let's work from a substitution model.  Take another art form-- canvas oil painting.  Let's say a Christian enjoys the museum and looks at the paintings done by all these incredible artists over the centuries.  They go home and say "Well heck (remember, the Christian doesn't say 'hell'), I can do that!"  And so he grabs a crayon, or some tempura, spreads out the butcher paper, and without as much as watching one instructional YouTube video, he makes his masterpiece.

He gathers his friends from the church group to gaze at this beautiful thing... and like the emperor's clothes, they all nod and pat him on the back and say something religious like "well, God's certainly given you a passion brother!"

Now stop right there, I know what you're going to say next.  "Well Dan, don't you believe in the power of God.  I mean, He put the Master in 'Masterpiece.'  Don't you think He gives gifts to His children?"  Yes I do.  Sometimes He chooses to zap someone.  But more often than not, He's MUCH more concerned about the artist than the art.  He wants to take the artist through a process.  Yet the artist places WAAAAAY too much emphasis on the art.

Have I lost you?  Goes back to us Christian Filmmakers who love to say "My movie is going to reach the lost!  Praise His name!"  My friend, if you think your art is that important, you've lost some grip on reality.  He can make a sunset that can touch man's heart more than your movie.  The movie is nothing more than a tool.  He didn't gives us that Great Commission to "reach the lost."  He gave the Great Commission to "make disciples."  And quite frankly, a movie is a poor substitute for discipling.  I can see Paul now-- "Hey Tim, no need to hang with me-- just watch my movie!"

Or to put it in a better way (my composer friend Ben Reynolds came up with this one)... it's like the three year old baking in his mother's kitchen (you're the three year old in this allegory, God's the mother) on his Easy-Bake Oven.  He makes this attrocious brownie-like substance and when it goes "ding" pulls it out.  Mom tastes it and smiles to the little tike.  "Great job!"  But here, the tike thinks the cake is going to fetch a bazillion dollars at the upcoming church bake sale.

I know several of these Christian Filmmakers.  They have drifted away from Truth-- which means they're operating in some degree of delusion.  And you wonder why their movies are "cheesy?"  It has nothing to do with budget.  Give our artist above oil paints instead of tempura... nice, stretched canvas instead of butcher paper, and I can tell you what the result will be.  Short of Zappage from God.

My filmmaking friends that say they're disciples of Jesus-- please listen.  Storytelling is an ART.  It takes training.  Education.  Apprenticeship.  Skill.  Gifting.  Inspiration.  And of course passion.  You might have one of these.  Or two.  So what are you waiting for?  Go start getting the rest.  Or you'd better fast and pray for some major Zappage.  Otherwise, you're just adding to the plethora of cheese.  (I sooo wanted to use that word today.  Not cheese.  Plethora).

I don't' believe you can do this and embrace the Christian Nazi Film Festival.  (The CNFF).  And if you think I'm making it up-- I'm not.  Of course they don't call themselves this.  I have a filmmaking friend who did a modern prodigal son and showed five or so blurry seconds of a table with beer bottles on it and him sitting behind with some other people.  They wanted him to take it out.  They wanted him to forsake Truth.  Of course, the Pharisees wanted Jesus to forsake Truth.