Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Some Random Filmmaking/Ego Thoughts

Lessons learned lately. I am not the Giver. I can be a giver, but then I can not walk in relationship with the Giver. I am not the light source. The Giver is the light source. I can only reflect. I am the moon. He is the Sun.

When I walk in my narcissistic flesh, my sphere is the mostest. My ministry is more special than yours. My movies are a mission from God, so step back and give me space to work. This mission is critical for the Kingdom. Without me, how can God reach all those people? Without my film, where I'll graciously channel His message, how can He speak to them?

Sounds silly written out. I see it in myself. And I see it in other Christian filmmakers. "My film is sooooo important." Hate to break this to you, but He can make a sunset that can touch men's heart more than anything you create. Your mission is no more important than the person next to you. Which might be the janitor.

I will not speak for you. From my experience in this movie-making-magic industry, reality is a slippery pig. And it squeels and runs away when people treat me like god on a set. Just writing honestly for a moment. And you want this? You want an entourage? I did. But not any more. I'd be content to be a farmer, working with my hands.

The work doesn't matter. God's more interested in my character building processes than some movie. It's a film for goodness sake-- it's not going to save anybody. So the pressure's off. Now to just be obedient.

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