Insecurity Police

Insecurity.  Feelings of Inferiority.  My mentor has stated that in all his years of counseling, most of the problems come down to these two roots.

In the film business, we see this a lot, and it's manifested in opposite ways-- the two sides of the same coin.  For instance, an insecure actor can second guess every move she makes, become a nervous wreck, unable to perform her part.  Or an actor can be so insecure that he puts down everyone around him in false bravado, compensating for his feeling of inferiority.

A director can be insecure and try to control every minutia of production, never trusting the department heads he's brought on.  A producer can wear as much arm candy as he can find and prance around the set, showing everyone how important he is.

And of course, the set is not an exclusive place for this human disease.  Marriages.  Parenting.  School.  All relationships carry this cancer.  Some are more along in the damage of the pathogen.  A husband clinging to a spouse, gripping tight because he fears she'll leave him.  A wife manipulating her children to make herself feel better because she feels valueless inside.  Children acting out in the classroom because negative attention will be a self-fulfilling prophecy of the monster they believe they are.

The opposite of Insecurity is Identity... or more precisely, understanding the truth about exactly who you are.  I believe there's two of me-- there's the spirit man that Paul writes about, especially in Romans (specifically chapter 8)... and there's the flesh, or the ego, that is a result of our sin nature.  You see, this is where the liberals and the humanist make a huge mistake-- they believe that inside, man is basically good and noble.  It's clear to me that if left to one's own nature, they'd be like lions looking to feed themselves from whatever they can take.

Sorry Gene Roddenberry-- you're whole futuristic look on mankind was predicated on the basic goodness of the human nature.  His characters, Captain Kirk and Mister Spock travel the galaxy to find out that humanity is basically good inside.

But what Mr. Roddenberry didn't quite understand is that you are evil... AND the inner you, was hand crafted by God Himself and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps. 139).  And as Paul writes in Romans 8, you who are of the flesh walk by the flesh and you who are of the spirit, by the spirit.  Of course, maybe Roddenberry did get it on that one episode, where the "evil Kirk" is separated from the "good Kirk" in a transporter accident.

It's a daily battle, but as I wage it, I start to understand more how special God made me (just like everyone else around me), and how evil I am and how that has to die daily.  It will be a war until the day I actually die.  Paul writes in Romans 7:19 that he practices the evil he doesn't want to do."  Practice.  As in present tense.  The writer of a lot of the new testament is confessing he practices evil.  It took me awhile to digest that.  I never wanted to call my ego "evil."  Oh c'mon, it's not that bad!"

Yes it is.  And it must die.  Again.